Authenticity

It's Friday. I should be extremely excited that it's my last day to work, but unfortunately I'm not because I have to work tomorrow. That part is actually not that bad because I'm attending an adoption party for DHS kids who need a home. I've never been to one and it seems interesting.
The real reason I'm not excited is due to feeling like crap all last night and today. I believe I either have a cold or the beginnings of the flu. I really need a new immune system... this one is breaking down too fast.

Lent....how bout that? I decided, with much deep thought and meditation, to give up chocolate. "What?" you say, "chocolate? Meg? never!" I know right? But I really pondered my reasoning for giving up soda or procrastination, but I'm not addicted to those...well maybe procrastination but I'm getting better.

Chocolate, you see, is such a glorious wonderful gift that I give myself at least twice a day. I just love love love love love it. But, not more than I love God (cheesy? yes). Anyway, I know that sacrificing something that I feel I must have every day is what I really wanted to accomplish this time around. I've been participating in Lent since I joined the Nazarene church in highschool, which oddly enough my church thinks is weird and "catholic". I tried to give up chocolate once but I cheated. Like 3 days in. This time I really couldn't have imagined anything worth giving up more than chocolate. I'm on day 2 and just trying to figure out how not to replace it with something else, but instead reflect on why I'm fasting in the first place. But already I am constantly reminded of why and how I can use that time to focus on better things, like meditation or conversing with God (yes I do it often in my car).

I'm not really a big talker when it comes to faith. After all I did marry a theology major, so I have no room to talk....seriously...haha. Really, I just have my own deep sense of who God is to me and how my experience has led me to the here and now. I try not to influence others in swaying to be just like me or whatever because then, to me, it is not an authentic faith. I did too much of that when I was younger and I refuse to be that person now. Of course I will happily discuss with someone their views on God and experiences that have led them to discover faith in all its mystery. But until people find God for themselves, I don't know that they are truly experiencing Him and how am I supposed to help by forcing my values onto them? I don't do it, but I will converse and I do try my best to display love, hope, kindness, forgiveness, and all that is good about this life with others. I want to be real and honest and open with people about who I am. I will be who I am knowing that God has helped shape me and continues to love me no matter how much of a pain I can be sometimes. God is everywhere....all we have to do is look.

That is my idea of authentic faith.